Is dating a best friend a good idea
Lovelies: Yesterday, I was talking about how awesome it was to have Jake Stein* along on the weekend trip--and also talking about how Jake and I went from being best friends to being boyfriend-and-girlfriend for a brief period. " I said, thinking he was just feeling randy, and annoyed that he would risk our friendship on a whim. (Or, at least, MY insecurities.) His writing career was going well, and the work he did interested me. What's more, I was terrified we might ruin the friendship. And I really do think, after all, that the main problem was our lack of chemistry.
The question of our dating came up like this: Jake and I had gone back to his apartment for a nightcap after having dinner together ... But he told me he'd been mulling it over for a while, and he was serious about wanting to give things a go. And not having Jake in my life seemed unimaginably painful. Maybe incompatible phermones are to blame--who knows?
Jessica is also a licensed Marriage & Family Therapist and Registered Drama Therapist with over 10 years of experience. Jessica Engle, the director of Bay Area Dating Coach, says: "If you have feelings for your best friend, the two of you need to talk about it.
It's really important to talk about what would happen to the relationship if it didn't work out, or if it did.
I had a great time with him--we were always laughing; always talking about interesting things; always comfortable discussing our emotions, fears and insecurities. In other words, it was hard to imagine a more ideal boyfriend. for whatever decidedly peculiar reason, I'd never felt an overwhelming urge to get it on with him.
Plus, he's very tall and quite handsome--an indubitably attractive guy (whom the ladies generally love).
Should you try to kill your feelings, or should you actually ask your friend out?At the same time, after considering it for a minute or two, I realized that if I give it a try, my reluctance could create a weird dynamic which could very well do serious damage to the friendship--maybe as much as a failed romance would. --because there doesn't seem to be much else to explain it.I also wondered if my hesitation had to do with a (lingering? Yet, the lack of sexual heat was an indisputable fact.First, know that it’s totally normal to fall for a friend: studies indicate that most of us find people more attractive after we get to know them (which might explain why so many of us feel like we never meet anyone we actually “Dating a friend comes with risks, such as the possibility of breaking up and losing a good friend, or even your social group falling apart if both parties hang out with the same friends,” says Maria Sullivan, Dating Expert and VP of “However, dating a friend can also lead to true love, so it is always a good idea to give it a try if you believe it will lead to something great.”Keep in mind that even if the romantic relationship doesn't work out, the friendship doesn't have to end.