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Surely marriage is a much bigger commitment than buying a house, but I’m hoping that our experience will prove insightful…so here we go!
For the past year, long before we started looking for a house, we started keeping a list of non-negotiables.
Our list included a garage (we’ve never had one), location (close to family/friends, strong community), budget/price, and many other things. When it came time to start searching, we knew what we were looking for, so eliminating options was very straightforward.
While dating, you must both understand the non-negotiables in your relationship and agree on them.
I’m self-employed, which comes a long with a mixed bag of good and bad implications.
One bad one is that it’s much harder to buy a house. Of course, there’s abundant grace when you’re in Christ.
Attraction may bring you and your future spouse together, but only love will keep you together. Your spouse’s appearance will change, but their soul is eternal.
Don’t over-emphasize surface qualities in your significant other. But the deeper qualities – faith, personality, sense of humor, etc – will endure for a lifetime. When you date , knowing it’s temporary, you’re basically saying to each other, “I’m just using you for my pleasure now, and as soon as that stops, we’re done.” That’s not love. If you do date or are dating, let it be with their soul in mind and marriage in view.
Selena and I dated for 4 years before getting married, but the day I asked her out I told her that I wouldn’t be dating her if I didn’t think I could marry her some day. And may you seek out all understanding and wisdom through reading God’s word and seeking counsel on how to pursue them.
More than anything, you become a tangible part of our mission of pointing couples to Christ and commissioning marriages for the gospel.
When will we accept the fact that you can meet someone on a dating app and have a long-term relationship?